The BBQ - This is the way it REALLY happened...

It was Father's Day and Mom was trying to do something special for Dad. She decided barbequeing steaks would be ideal, but she didn't know how to use the barbeque. So Mom had me go out there with her thinking that I might know something about it.

We went out there and started poking around. We turned the ignite knob, but nothing happened. I thought outloud to Mom, "Maybe we need more gas," and I turned up the propane. Still nothing happened. We turned on the burners, then turned the ignite key. Again, nothing. So I turned up the gas. We kept trying the knobs like you try to unlock the combo on a safe, and each time something didn't work, I turned up the gas. By this time, the propane tank was hissing loudly. Frustrated I thought maybe something was wrong with the gas tank itself. I was sitting on my heels when Mom found the magic button (apparently, you have to PUSH IN the ignite button before it will work). In my periferal vision, I saw a huge plume of fire and smoke as it exploded from the barbeque like an atomic bomb - and Mom was still standing right there.

Panicked, I jumped up. "Mom! Are you ok?!?"

She said nothing, just turned her head and looked at me. Between the glazed eyes, curled eyelashes, singed eyebrows, still half-shriveling hair that laid perfectly around her face just moments ago, it was all I could do to keep from laughing. Actually, I couldn't keep from laughing. My mouth just got bigger as I tried to frown the uncontrollable smile from my face. Understandably, Mom was mad at me for laughing. "You don't love me. I could have died," she said as she marched into the house. Her entrance grabbed the attention of all the siblings in the room. As she told the story, I followed after her, trying desparately to catch my breath through the laughter. Between her story and my chortled gasps, everyone else started laughing. Upset and singed, Mom huffed up the stairs hollering, "Nobody loves me! I could have been seriously hurt and you're all just laughing!..."

I don't remember if we ate steaks or not, but guaranteed: Mom did NOT cook them on the grill.