Oh Goodie!! (rubs hands together while laughing maniacally) Have I got dirt for you! Where do I start!?!?!?!
Well! I remember when we lived on Decatur. Jayson and I had just finished reading the dictionary for summer reading and we'd discovered the Peanuts and the Garfield treasury comic books. Jayson read one of the Peanuts books where Lucy would go around and each time she would see Linus, she'd push down on his head, to the exasperated frustration of Linus. Her logic in this was to "inhibit his growth so I'll always be taller than him". Jayson thought this to be a message to him from on high, delivered by angelic choirs with pillars of light descending, because he proceeded to ATTACK me with religious zealotry and would push my head down with vigor! (Jayson, you Gunky!)
Another thing I recall is that during his junior and senior year in high school (Gentry house), he was on the wrestling team. He'd come home and decide to try his wrestling moves on me...mostly without my prior knowledge, or permission! He delighted especially in the guillotine move. I was in the choir for heaven's sake! I could sing a mean Tenor line, but wrestling?!?!? (What more could he do to me!) Jayson, you Gunky!
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The John Deer Nose Mower from the Real Men of Genius (RMOG).
Jayson, Dad, Chance and I were all sitting around the table at the Queen Creek house a few months ago and were all gradually falling asleep over an overly long game of dominoes. I have no idea how the subject came up, but Jayson lamented his overly exuberant fair holicles on the tip of his nose. Chance and I, being Masters in the art of if its down, kick it harder and with the knowledge of Dad’s comment to Jayson in the past regarding tweezers for his cable-thick nose hairs (i.e. “You’re a man”) suggested he use the aforementioned implement (pilfered from Mom’s vanity no doubt!) to remove said offending fur in a Manly Manner.
Strenuous objection and lamentation followed after which we suggested a battery powered solution. Jayson’s eyes popped out of his head and he regaled us with the pitfalls of battery powered trimmers: they don’t go deep enough, the blades aren’t sharp enough, and the blades get bound up in the cable-thick hair, etc, Ad nauseam.
Revelation at some point pierced the darkness and the concept of a Briggs and Stratton 5 hp gasoline fueled nose mower was born, complete with nigh unbreakable rope starter and painted John Deer green. Eureka! Women from around the world will beat a path to our door, throwing their monies at our feet so that they might buy for their men the ultimate path to non-offending nostril nakedness (Cha-Ching$!)
After the dollar signs in my eyes, I kind of missed the rest of the conversation as we grew more and more tired. Let this be a lesson to you kids, don’t stay up late with your uncles!
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